Self-Concepts is my autodidactic spiritual way of training and enlightenment that taught me 2 become master of energy & awareness &

consciousness – body & mind & soul and enlightenment & mystic.

Self – Concepts is invented in 2003 upgraded until now (teacher of martial arts since 1990 – coach of body & mind & soul work – awareness –

consciousness – energywork – meditation since 1997) as a new radical way of spiritual practice & enlightenments

born on my own experiences and researches on the field of getting 2 know the truth and myself becuz i was never satisfied with the

methods & ways i found in my indepth research in all spiritual methods – styles – traditions – religions .

I personally started my serious search of the truth in 1986 when i read the book mind built up the body – when i first read something

about suggestions & how 2 change ur mind etc .I had an allergy since i was 12 about plants and after reading the book i

realized that i had fear about it inside – thinking about it something comes 2 my mind – would have the neanderthaler(ancient man) b

scared about plants and get allergy (a reaction of the body himself) ? – I thought no and understand that this kind of allergy maybe occur

becuz mankind especially in the modern western civilization is separated from the nature/natural state and this might lead 2 different

reactions like allergy etc. – If u believe it or not after that i stopped having allergy immediately and until now – but this method is not

suitable 4 all persons becuz usually the fear – the lower ego – trauma – karma etc. r bigger than the convinced believe7faith in one`s own

self healing power.

I read many thousands books about the field of esoteric & spiritual traditions in that time often just 2 get 2 know that i already know

what i was reading or that i got 2 that point b4 – wanting 2 find my own way with the most effective practices & theorys 2 find and

realize the truth – I studied everthing that could help me on my way so i get in2 (higher) magic – kabbala – wicca – shamanism – yoga –

sufism – tantra – zen – gnostics – quantum mechanics and on spiritual works like crowley – osman spare – gurdjieff – castaneda – neil gaiman

– pratchett – baudelaire – dante – milton – hesse —-musashi- takuan – dürckheim — ken wilber – rupert sheldrake – stuart wilde

—- upanishaden – dhammapada – tao te king – apokryphics and crazy stuff that is known as esoteric

(that often leads to self made religion or controversial theories-practice- energies and hybrid selfgodlike lucifer attitude)

all in all books just books cannot change until u become the keys urself in experience .

With 16 i met a medium who asked me boy what r u gonna b – i answered martial arts master and shaman which came from the bottom of

my heart not knowing what this could meant 2 b – He answered after scanning my aura and energies u could b that – u have the potential

and willpower 4 that but u lack selflove – root and humility – U own personal power so if u ever will b in contact with persons who only

got institutional power they cannot stand u becuz they fear their hidden nature becuz if revealing ur own weakness

makes u mirror 4 unconsiousness mind of common ppl – finally he told me when u become force which leads 2 source finally become the

source itself by overcome the power.

I developed very fast in my conciousness and potential always searching 4 the best way 4 me – and as masterhands know if u r rly on the

way of truth u will definately will going 2 meet 2 doorguides and keymasters if u want or not so

I met many strange special beings on my way like practitioners of – wicca  – black magic / white magic- occult

eremits – mystics – sufis – zen buddhist -tantra buddhist – lamas – yogis – shamans

enlighteners – lightworkers – external/internal martial arts master & grandmasters

foreign legionnaires – spec ops – black minds -33° and more

often these were not very gud companionship becuz 4 real 4 most humans and me 2 high or 2 low etc.

might b dangerous so take care 2 keep ur balance .

In that time i get 2 know a high spiritual woman who told me at telephone which starsign i own – that i will meet many old souls who all

tryin 2 limit me in potential but i will overpower them 2 find my own way and b finally a strict but good teacher.

Noone could gave me the contact i was searching 4 no method & way could satisfy me – like the saying if u meet the buddha on the way kill

him –i went through very stubborn and individual and hybris ill 2 the extreme about all borders was searching

4more but i started 2 enter my personal spiritual master inside myself – stopping 2 search 4 externals 2 find enlightenment – truth or

mastery and that was gud/good/god 4real .

I went far between 16 and 18 i had first strong enlightenments heartopening and realizing the relativeness of yin-yang – its changing and

circling and is no circle but (….) – as life is our teacher – humans our mirrors – limits our challenges i chose 2 experience – entered

sex – relationships – travelling and extreme experience surfing means tend 2 do the things i scared of or feel uncomfortable with 2

overcome scary and limiting experiences (racing-freeclimbing etc.) 2 taste life/death at limit and get my personal powers back.

In the twenties i get 2 know martial arts grandmasters in the trams or sufis in shops or lamas in concerts these ppl often recognized as holy

beings want me 2 join  but i was not willing 2 accept anybdy but god as my guide and feeling that i was 2 far

on my own way 2 the ultimate source and truth .

In the mid twenties i knew i would gain soulcontact and after a recapitulationprocess (read plz castaneda and taisha abelar) where u learn 2

integrate all ur lost energies and projections 2 get w(holy) again and worked in a field with many spiritual masters and martial arts

grandmasters – my awareness changed dramatically and i had no control 2 stop such things like 2 see evil in(every) human being – I got into

serious spiritual crisis which ended up in a  5 weeks coma with more than 20 beyond death experience with out of body – hellvisions and

shamanic – buddhist – martialarts and christian initiations where in the end i felt a PRESENCE something more

powerful than any experience that i ever felt b4 it was MERCY OF GOD that saved me but not as nice as it sounds

more like catched me at my hair from deepest hell back 2 life from then on i clearly knew my master – way and truth is one – GOD (1997)

After that experience i found a book where the states of mind that i have been through in coma are discribed as spiritual crisis

in an shaman initiation – ( known as shaman illness)       – the spirit of shamanism – by n. walsh.

This wasn`t just the beginning of my journey and i still young in this life began 2 realize that something wanna hunt me so plz keep real

and alert something might wanna catch ur soul either – later i found people and literature/movies that i could share my experience not as

fantasy but mayb problem 4 all ppl on the WAY (goethes faust – grimms tales -/man of tai chi – devils advocate etc.)

so if u r on the real way 2 urself and further 2 the one there might b borders and traps and in the end if u not

can cope with evil and death u should never start 2 go this way ( some people might think their guru is angellike – never evil and no

sinner/saint or madonna/bitch but holy means just whole accept both sides in harmony ) .

So b aware if u choose a way that is only light and comfort mayb works and feels great – but usually its only trapped by an obscure sect and

guru who hides his evil in hidden places posessed by evil enteties and uses such energies 2 make the people feel good using

love bombing (heartenergy manipulation) and nlp/and or other mind and soul manipulation — i hav tried 2 save many souls from these

and got experience how EVIL nice or comfortable ways often r .

B aware of one step in heaven leads to one step in hell  – like greatest trees have deepest roots .

Take care 2 give up own right 4 soulish freedom and u only think u r on the right way but usually i agree with ken wilber in the point that

many people try 2 get rid of their problems becuz they cannot cope with reality and try 2 built up a fantasyworld of their own so

they start their search of truth/enlightenment and usually they will b disapointed by the nature of truth itself – as in tao te king written –

nice words are not true – true words r not nice or like in the song hedonism from skunk anansie— its not right becuz it feels good

— the common people think a holy man has no ego / no fear  /no evil – does no evil and enlightenment means 2 b on a peaceful

harmonious state of mind that allows the guru 2 smile always and b happy all day – but i tell u a secret this is only a state of mind but

enlightenment usually comes through the awareness of darkness as c.g. jung once said and u have 2 go through many high hills and deep

valleys 2 get the real full enlightenment of truth not just a part of it as usually promoted states of mind .

Plz read sufferings of jona in the whale – jobs way – jesuas last days – no happy hour

B aware truth and reality r not the same – in reality often lies dominate and wrong and false concepts r on ppl minds so ppl have different

realities – taste or priorities or different levels of awareness of truth but truth itself dnt change all the time for all ppl .

In my 30ies got mental preparation also books from dürkheim – john c. lilly – timothy leary – anton wilson – david icke – charles berner –

i did enlightenment of self 2 x 72 h solo retreat that was nice powerful and freedom touched ego got relative– its related 2

avatarlevel 5 many masters think this is full enlightenment becuz it feels soooooooooooooooooo nice peaceful harmonious with almost no

conflict – in medias res and its good 2 know relativeness of common egos but mayb spiritual ego rise ….

But its great trap – the compatibilty with world is good and spiritual ego can fully expand – danger danger danger – illusion of no ego

– no fear  – no fight and use spiritual powers for own purpose and lose the way .

Most famous so called spiritual masters – enlightenment beings like advaita ppl – – think they hav reached full enlightenment level or

mystic but thats wrong – enlightenment of self is just preparation .

Readings from dr. med-phil david r . hawkins show that the highest masters r not like common ppl think (btw i disagree in detail but he

tells many good points ) like only a few who r responsible for the mercy of god and jesus different than buddha – krishna

bw – conciousness level dnt mean genius or intelligence or even btr human – more effective or grants more benefits or btr feelings or

character  just primarily stands 4 range of conciousness .


higher than bw -700-850…real enlightenment starts

only a few r real mystic level beyond bw700 < 100 Enlightened Masters

jesus son of god (>1000) not same like buddha krishna etc


and many spiritual ways even if they r effective for healing or posess powers r not the way of god or high leveled

black witchcraft 5

black magic 20

devil worship 25

satanism 45

voodoo 45

aztec-inca religion 85

wicca 160

fortune tellers 185

divination 185

occult 185

tarot readings 190

channeling 195

newage 185

feng shui 210

numerology 210

astrology 210-405

kriya yoga 410

tibetan buddhism 490

taoism 500

christianity b4 council of nicaea   840


In my 40ies goin on 2 got2god guided in mystic that can never attained by own will but just by mercy of god – so this level not attained if u

great grandmaster of martial arts – shaman – yogi – buddhist  / enlightened – they just think mystic is same experience but its not

– mayb thats main reasons i had 2 do all the stuff becuz usually the ppl become zenmaster or shaman or mystic not all but if — they would

knew its really different level and different experience – shaman for example can never become if not born 4 that and mystic u

will never attained by will – even u worldrecord praying and know and do bible any GOD desides who become mystic no other .

Hesychasm 4 over ten years – 5 h contemplation daily and in clausur up to 72 hours gave me foundation 4 those mystic experience my

self – concepts and god concepts totally broke and vanished ….

Fasting twice a year 40 days was normal spiritual discipline and once was thrown out of ego 4 >240 hours contemplated – no food – no

drink – no sex – no sleep – no thought – no electricity – no outworld contact – no talk – no ambition – no restroom – no desire

no emotion i awakened watched my spiritual diary 10 days missing 11 lbs less than b4 / bmi 18 near death i left home 4 a 3 days

marathon walk around 100 km but the wind blows and i needed 2 start 2 get weight start 2 eat / drink

even there was no wish 4 – i just started 2 eat becuz i thought it mayb btr 2 gain weight and start 2 live as human

start 2 get normal – i do not know if i reached it but sumtimes  ppl think im a quite normal human

thats okay – it might b best 2 b just normal in a gud way.


Later on another fasting trip i joined antonii abbas tomb and was rly messed up with evil attacks and

the golden blossum  took me through disolve of substance – i rly had 2 pick up all elements 2 bring me back 2 life

and reality – during those experience its not possible 2 stop or get out untill u find the masterkey 2 join the only exit through – like carmel

got through keyhole or walk over water in mystery – on these stages u understand ur personal story and any enlightened

book or scraddle but in that moment all importance of that ways of wisdom got lost becuz u got there u got aim

– quest & search of wisdom & enlightenment & self stops becuz u got in the real relation 2 god and can just b finally urself

just humble normal human with ego – fears – weakness – problems but mayb the ambition 2 grow and learn and face & fight the 7 sins &

devil & friends and support others on the way .


thx GOD who showed me i m not good or bad – all or nothing – buddha or christ but me myself and i

was not god reveal himself 2 moses in burning fire eheye (i am who i am)

GOD revealed dark night of soul and showed me those sides of soul nobody will or can face by free will – the mystic enlightenment is not

voidlike(buddhistic/adavita) – self4gotten trance(shaman) – kali etc.possessed (yogi )

but a rockclimbing on mount carmel were u feel ur deepest core – connection 2 personal god and different nature of human sinner and


far but mercy .

Through those experience  u feel there is a greater being than any human or life and world is relative not the absolute .

Beyond bw 700 u become true mystic – personal school of god but does not mean no evil/hell it is said that devil only punish those

who surpass their ways and the dark night of soul and the antonii abbas tomb r settings that r almost hard 2 stand

4 any hero


The work of great masters like

– gospel of thomas

– thomas von kempen

– augustinus aurelius –

-master eckhardt

– juan de la cruz

– teresa avila

– margareta porete

—-ancient abbas desertpilgrims like antonii abbas the great

—- philokalia (christians highest spiritual practices described ) inspired me 2

passing through jacobs ladder – inferno -swedenborg- heaven/hell

–dark night – juan de la cruz lv 7

— antonius abbas tomb lv 8,5

(7 years process – still learning)

revealed places – stages no human would like 2 go 4 free or can b attained by spiritual ego

experienced that im not good/god – god far — get aridness – know 7 sins/enemies btr – etc .


Just still learning every day – dnt need any critics becuz my shavers on the way r selfcritisism make me btr by revealing weakness &

dissapointment by destroying my illusions or expectations

and my master punish me hardest if i fail

My work is training body & mind & soul and support others on the way

My qualities r awareness energy consiousness – truely express my self – just b me – trust in GOD

My guides r dev.. – dea.. – becuz they test and guide us anytime 2 fight and survive and keep the way

All beings on earth — heaven and hell in the right time & place as mirrors — supporters – challengers or signs

If 2 high sumtimes btr 2 go down not far higher so downgrade and compatibility with world

and ppl r often more important than going 2 high or down

(masters understand – common ppl think 2 controversial )

U might understand that one day – i ask my students what r u gonna do if u r @ top of highest mountain ………..

So i try 2 support ppl on the way and live a simple life still human can njoy luxury if needed 4 high performance or fun ….not bounded

4 give me if i m not perfect or fail plz i try hardest

Walk in nature & culture

thx 4 all support from my best friends – godwarriors like me who try 2 change themselves and others 4 a btr version in many creative ways

thx all my ppl – bros & sis – teachers & students – etc. who helped – supported – trained – sharpened me open or hidden

thx my root

thx GOD the ………………………………………………..




„I stood in the middle of the world, and in flesh I appeared to them.
I found all of them drunk. None of them did I find thirsty.
And my soul ached for the children of humanity,
because they are blind in their heart, and they cannot see;
for they came into the world empty,
and they also seek to depart from the world empty.
But now they are drunk.
But when they shake off their wine, then they will change their mind.“

„Whoever has come to know the world has found the dead body.
But whoever has found the dead body, of him the world is not worthy.“

         Jesus (Gospel of Thomas)